Asian Tiger

I am sure all of us have been to at least one official dinner function this year. I have been to several and there are those who attend these formal dinners more than once a month. I find these functions boring because it is always the same do or agenda every single time. The function always starts off with a cocktail outside the ballroom; they actually lock up the ballroom so as to force you to mingle around strangers. Then it is followed by seatings, speech, speech and more speech. The last speaker always gets a thunderous applause because everyone will be hungry by then. This is followed by food and then some award certificates giveaway, some joker who stands on stage as a stand up comedian giving a couple of laughs, lucky draw and adjourn. Sounds familiar? You bet it is!! So, how do you survive an official dinner function?

Tip #1 - Consume some alcohol. As most functions serve beer and wine, help yourself to some drinks. Somehow, alcohol help kill time and assist in mustering courage to strike a conversation with a total stranger. If you suffer from alcohol intolerance, stay away from it. The least you want to do is embarrass yourself in general public.

Tip #2 - Bring a partner. Yes, most functions can be boring. Companionship eases the atmosphere and if you are having fun, time flies. So, get hold of a partner (if the function permits you to bring them) to accompany you. If you are married, stick to bringing your wife. If you are single, create a list of possible partners.

Tip #3 - Surf the Internet. Get hold of a mobile device that is able to access the Internet. When bored, switch it on and start browsing the web, go FaceBooking or MySpacing, read some real news or simply check your emails. It may look rude to the rest on your table but heck, you are not going to see those guys anytime soon after the dinner, perhaps never, so, who cares?

Tip #4 - Forget the dessert and leave the function early. Your function is most likely to be held in a hotel and if you leave at the same time as the masses, you will find yourself queuing to pay the parking ticket and queuing to drive out of the hotel basement. An easy 30 minutes is wasted. Save yourself by leaving early and avoid that traffic.

Today, I did a day trip down to Johor. I started driving at 8-ish and reached my destination after three and one half hours. I did my stuff and then drove back to Kuala Lumpur that took 4 hours because of rain along the way.

This kind of driving is quite normal for me and I have been doing so for the past 10 years. However, half the time, I will feel sleepy as driving on the highway is very monotonous. There’s nothing to see except for oil palm trees to your right and left.

Here are some things I do to keep myself awake:

1. Sing along to the radio - it helps when you know the lyrics. Otherwise, just pretend you know the lyrics or simply create your own.
2. Chewing gums - chew on those gums for as long as you can. Gums have helped kept me awake for hours. Sweets or candies don’t last very long, that’s why I opt for gums.
3. Take a nap - stop by a lay-by or rest area and take a nap. A 10 minute nap can do wonders. Trust me.
4. Chit chat - if your occupants are not asleep, strike a conversation. Gossips are wonderful sleep-killer. If you are alone, call someone on your mobile phone.
5. Slap yourself - when all else fails, slap yourself silly.